welcome to On beauty, a series where we take an in-depth look at a person’s relationship to beauty, how that relationship has transformed over the years, and how they experience being seen. This week we chat with the Grammy-nominated singer, songwriter and rapper Holy bodhi who has just released his latest project, ANTISOCIAL.
Below, she explains what it was like to grow up surrounded by men, how she discovered her love of beauty, and the lessons she learned over the past year.
“It’s going to sound so wacky, but my beauty models were construction workers. As a kid, I looked really rough; I dressed like a boy. I even had a crazy rock scene where I thought. that I was Kurt Cobain, I didn’t start leaning on my feminine side until my late twenties.
“I grew up with all men; I didn’t have women around for a long time. And when a woman came, it was my grandmother, so I didn’t really learn beauty, hair or makeup. I learned all these things from my friends as I got older. There was a lot of trial and error. Once I decided that I really wanted to start doing makeup, it was was difficult I looked at my old photos and looked like, did I really used to do my eyeliner like that?
“When I was younger I definitely had insecurities. Growing up in South Central LA I faced a lot of colourism because of my skin tone. So in my mind I was like I didn’t. was not going to have any boys, so I ‘I would be one instead. It was kind of a defense mechanism – you couldn’t tell me that you didn’t care about me because I wasn’t trying. not even to have you.
“Music was something I started doing when I was younger, and it was a therapeutic escape for me because I grew up in LA drama, you know, neighborhood shit. come from the streets – music and poetry was a way for me to express myself and what I witnessed. I read a lot of fiction as a child. One of the first books I have read was The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. I would get so lost in these books. It was definitely an escape.
“Writing songs came naturally to me. I consider myself an empath and feel like I’ve been blessed to travel through so many different lives thanks to my friends and their experiences. easy for me to know what other people think and slip into their worlds. For a while I was just writing for other people, so it was a liberating experience to start recording my own music. When you sign with a label, you kind of think they own you, but in reality it’s more of a partnership than anything else.
“Music is a very male dominated industry, and I feel like every year I learn something new about the industry. This year I learned how to play well. game of patience, chess not checkers. So you learn to play nice and you learn to relate. Say, for example, if there is a difficult man in the industry, I make a point of finding out who this person is and ask him to have lunch. Let me find out who you are and how we can work together and respect each other. “
“Now beauty is so much more fun for me. I change my hairstyle all the time – I do a lot of blue hairstyles because this color is on my throat chakra and it keeps it open. I love my big curly hair. . I love my makeup and my 30mm lashes. I’m also a big snap nail girl now. I don’t know how people have nails that are two or three inches long all the time. Like, how do you send My son thought my beauty looks were crazy, but now his hair is long too, and he’s begging me to dye it blue, so we’re playing games.
“This last year has been crazy. I’m in the middle of my return from Saturn and it kicks my ass. There have been a lot of blessings, don’t get me wrong, but at the same time, there has been all this evil. I learn not to trust people too much, I learn to love and I learn to set higher standards for myself. “